Take It Easy

Food For (Financial) Thought...

2008-03-19T23:56:00.003-04:00

People often argue, both internally as well as with others: Which is more important, money or happiness, and can money buy happiness? If Bill Gates has a bad day, can't he just go joy-riding in his Lamborghini (spelled that correctly on the first try, for the record) with his ~~iPod~~ Zune blasting from the stereo, then finish it off with a 3-hour massage and be happy (at least for a while, but when the happiness wears off there's more money to buy more happiness)? We are all entitled to our own opinions, I know I have mine. Maybe for some people, money equals happiness; while for others, the more money they come across the more problems they see.

I'd like to present a different question though, that is entirely hypothetical: Would you accept a large sum of money in exchange for some of the conveniences you are presently accustomed to? The question is related but offers a different way to look at the question.

John D. Rockefeller is the richest person in the history of the world. In today's dollar, he would have a net worth of nearly $320 billion, more than 5x the amount of the richest person currently living in the world. In fact, if you combined the money of the six richest people alive today, you would still have less money than Rockefeller. That is simply astonishing.

The fact of the matter is though, Rockefeller is not alive today. He died in 1937 at the age of 97. There was a lot he didn't see and he lived without a lot of the modern technologies and conveniences we take for granted today. A hot summer afternoon without an air conditioner. Despite his massive wealth, he had no iPod, no computer, no television, no 200-MPH Ferrari, no cell phone. Would you be willing to take $320 billion if you had to give up all of these things? It's a lot of money, but is it worth it? You'd be the richest person in the world, ever, but would you do it?

Moving on, or going back to the beginning, however you want to think of it, this is related to the initial question I brought up, about money and happiness. Obviously Rockefeller didn't know any different, but we would (presumably) be much less happy without so many of the things we are accustomed to having.

One of the ten principles of economics (surely they (I don't even know who "they" are) manipulated a bunch of general rules into ten organized principles just for the sake of having a nice number, not unlike Moses or James) is that people face trade offs. This example is merely another example of that principle, I think. The trade off is different for every person, but it essentially boils down to how much convenience do you have to give up to gain the enormous wealth, and how much do you value that convenience?

This is loosely but directly (if that makes sense) parallel to the money/happiness question. Every profession and lifestyle affects at least two factors of your life; how happy you are and how much money you have. Ideally you would be able to assign a value to each of these for each profession or lifestyle and set up a ratio to maximize your pleasure. We can't, though. "A man is a success," says Bob Dylan, "if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night, and in between does what he wants to do." Clearly some have it easier than others, as Dylan writes and plays music to his heart's desire, and makes a lot of money doing it.

Personally I'd say it's best to find a happy medium of sorts. We all face the problem of trade offs, so just be sure to factor everything in, all of the many variables, and choose accordingly. The Rockefeller example shows an important flaw in the "money or happiness" argument, as you can only have one or the other, which is rarely the case. In other words, don't focus on maximizing a single factor and leaving the rest at zero. Trade offs mean that there are middle-grounds, you can have both. Keep it simple and take a little money and a little happiness.

Chocolate or Vanilla?

The best of both worlds.

More on this coming soon, in a post that (I think) will be better, and certainly (hopefully) a tad bit inspirational...

Into The Great Wide Open

2008-03-14T18:29:00.001-04:00

Title inspired by, but post completely unrelated to: Tom Petty.

I was thinking...

Dangerous but rare occurance, I know.

I was thinking what it must have been like to be traveling in the desert for days on end with nothing but arid flatness (for lack of a better term) for as far as the eye can see, and to suddenly lay eyes on this. One of the grandest of all vistas, for sure.

There is no way to know what one's reaction might have been, as García López de Cárdenas didn't list his every emotion upon discovering it. No modern man can ever enjoy the view as Cárdenas did, because we all have our preconceived notions and expectations in regard to what the Grand Canyon is like. If I am told how wonderfully beautiful it is, then I expect to see something that will fit such a description. If my experience is less breathtaking than what a picture in a brochure leads me to expect, I will be disappointed. For only if I have no expectations can I truly appreciate this example of nature's pure beauty to its fullest extent.

In a way, I'm jealous of Cárdenas, since he could view the spectacle without any high hopes. I am jealous though only because I assume he saw it as one of Nature's many masterpieces. It is entirely possible that he saw it as an enourmous obstacle. Maybe he wanted to keep exploring but couldn't circumvent the enormous crevice. Or maybe it was utterly tantalizing, as he was stuck in a desert and saw an unreachable source of water below him.

Consider the Wright brothers' first flight. Of course if we watched a video of the Wright brothers' first flight, we would appreciate the flight for the great impact it has had on the world, but would not be very impressed with a flimsy aircraft lifting a few feet off the ground for a mere 12 seconds. To really be in shock and awe of the flight, one would have to have never seen such a vehicle take flight, one would have to be convinced that such a feat was physically impossible, one would have to have been in Kitty Hawk in December of 1903.

This sort of phenomenon occurs on a lesser scale a thousand times over, every day. The ear with which you listen to a song changes based on what you're told about the song beforehand. JoMo and I were talking yesterday about how great Stairway to Heaven really is. We both agreed that it's overrated, but why does it constantly appear at or near the top of "all time greatest rock songs" lists? I think that somewhere along the lines, someone said that it was a great song, and word spread. Now, when people try to rank songs, they see Stairway listed and associate it with "greatness," even if they don't personally think it's a particularly amazing song.

Similarly, I visited the Museum of Fine Arts today for a class. As I wandered the halls and rooms, I noticed that some were more crowded than others. At first I thought it had to do with the layout of the rooms, but some of the busiest rooms weren't in central locations that would be highly traveled. The room that I observed having the most people in it happened to be the room that had its walls covered with Monet, Renoir, Van Gogh, and the like. I feel as if many people look at the pieces by these artists simply because they are told that they are good artists. If the paintings didn't have the titles or the artist's names listed, would they still attract the same crowds? I'd venture to say no.

We're all guilty of this by default, there is no realistic means of viewing everything without any prejudices. I can provide no way to correct this or avoid it-nor do I think it's particularly bad-it's just a simple observation I thought I'd share.

Kiwi!

2008-03-13T16:17:00.000-04:00

First, watch this video:

Done? Ok, good.

Take it in, let it settle. What's your initial reaction?

If you're at all like me, you probably felt bad for the Kiwi - watching his little stubs flap as if he's flying, the tear running out of his eye as he falls into the abyss. Is it a tear of happiness? I'm going to assume that it is.

Joe sent me this video, and of course we started talking about it after I watched it. I'll take credit for the phrase that "we are all just Kiwis" as we pursue our dreams. Isn't it true that as humans we work tirelessly throughout our entire life in the hopes of finding brief happiness in the end? The Kiwi spent his energy nailing trees into the side of a cliff to create, in effect, a vertical ground. He was willing to put all of his efforts towards this single goal, the one thing that he must've believed could make him happy: flight. Shifting back to humans now, we work a great majority of our life so that we might later pursue our goals.

The end of our life is the like the freefall that the Kiwi experiences. We've finally reached the point in life when we can be happy-retirement-but was it worth it? Was all of the hard work worth the tiny chunk of life during which we are now happy? Like the Kiwi, not everyone can find work that makes them happy. There was nothing that the Kiwi could pour his efforts into that would make him happy while he was doing it so he chose the path that many humans do, working hard his whole life for a sliver of pure joy. My piece of advice is this: If you can find a career (that will adequately financially sustain your well-being) doing something you enjoy, embrace it. For if you love your work, then you will not need to long for retirement.

A professor I had last semester was in his eighties and simply loved teaching, he would tell us that he never planned to retire, that the university would have to force him out if they wanted him to leave. It's that kind of job that I long for, though I don't know of any career that would satisfy me in such a way. In the meantime, I'll stick with being a finance major and hopefully my retirement may come sooner rather than later.

What I Know:

2008-02-21T17:23:00.004-04:00

Nothing.

Not really, but sorta.

Consider everything you know as a percentage of all that there is to be known. In this sense I know 0% of everything. I will never know more than 0% of everything that can possibly be known. I'll never even know 1% of pi. Maybe I'm looking too far into nothing, but I still find it a bit alarming.

Many people spend their lives, or at least a good portion of their lives seeking knowledge of one sort or another. I'm not going to say it's in vain, because knowledge is powerful and important, but does anyone ever succeed in this quest? No matter what you learn, you always yearn for more. No one is or ever should be satisfied with what they know.

Now think about a supposed all-knowing god. All-knowing. What does that mean? Such a god must have infinite knowledge, literally. There is no bound on what can be known. Going back to pi - it never ends - proof enough that an omniscient being would have a literal infinite amount of knowledge. What's the 1,000,000,000th digit of pi? He (or she) would respond immediately, without the need to think about it, he would just know. Or would he answer before I even asked aloud? He knows everything after all, even what I think.

Does he know the next sentence I'm about to type, even when I don't? This brings me to another point. Would an omniscient god know everything that is known now, or everything that is known ever? What I mean is, does this god know things before they happen? If I'm going to fall down the stairs on my way out of work, does he know this in advance? If not, then by acquiring such knowledge he is adding to the knowledge that he possesses (I know, infinity + 1 is still infinity), and if he knows more now than he did before, was he really omniscient before?

If this god is all-knowing, and he created me, then why aren't I perfect, why do I make mistakes? If I set out to make something, I would certainly make it perfect if I had the ability to do so. People say "in a perfect world..." Well if this god created this world, why isn't it perfect?

I tend to go too far with things like this, and it's getting moot, so I'll stop here. No moral here, but plenty to be learned ;-)

Change

2008-02-09T23:46:00.004-04:00

The notion of change in American politics today is a strong one, and the three major contenders for the White House in 2009 all preach a promised doctrine of change (some more than others).

Barack Obama is larger than life for many American teens and twenty-somethings; the turnout and support he has garnered from college students is unprecedented. Why does a candidate with many policies similar to his rival's find such overwhelming support from typically politically-aware college students? The answer is George W. Bush.

Bush and Cheney have reigned over the United States for a tumultuous 7+ years. When Clinton left office, I was still too young (like most of Generation Y) to have any memory or comprehension of politics. As a result, the Washington I've grown to know is a lying and corrupt oligarchy of sorts, consisting primarily of narrow-minded politicians with even narrower objectives.

Political pundits often talk about this "post-9/11 world." Aside from the obvious heightened security measures and the sudden worldly awareness present in America, the state of a post-9/11 America has had a great impact on all the citizens of these United States. "Nine-eleven" is often thrown around in Washington as a way to take advantage of Americans. "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety" (attributed to Benjamin Franklin) is what I'm getting at here. Wiretapping, gross amounts of secret documents, the Patriot Act - and oh yeah, that trillion-dollar travesty half a world away. After all, we wouldn't want to let the terrorists win. Getting back to the point: the Washington I've seen in my lifetime is not an institution one is likely to have much faith in.

Enter Mr. Obama. Often criticized as being naive, called a dreamer, and labeled an idealist, Obama has also been said to speak and think in a manner not unlike John F. Kennedy or Dr. Martin Luther King. "Change We Can Believe In" is his slogan, and not a terribly bad one at that. This is where I find myself getting sucked in at times, and I believe many others do as well. People want change, many believe America needs change; the problem is that most people don't even know what it is they want, aside from the fact that they don't want Bush. Obama's message and strong rhetoric radiates the promise of change, and a hope and faith in our government once again - a hope and faith that many of my generation have never had. Put Obama's wholesomely clean political record and his promise of change together with the dirtiness that is D.C., and you'll find a candidate that can present precisely what Americans are looking for: a new age in American politics.

With all of that being said, there is still great gravitas and legitimacy behind the candidacy of Barack Obama. I am an avid supporter of his campaign to the top seat in Washington, and have several policy-driven reasons for this support. The optimistic "hope" for a better America certainly plays a role, but rest assured, the basis of my support for Obama consists of relevant political matters.

What's Expected

2008-02-09T10:26:00.000-04:00

I was sitting in my College Writing class yesterday, as my racing mind ran laps around my idle body. One thought stood out: What am I doing here? It seemed like an easy question, with an easy answer. I was in that classroom because I am a student at Northeastern University. Every easy answer draws another more complex question, though. Why am I at Northeastern? Hell, why am I even at college at all?

I suppose it was expected of me to go to college after high school, but why? Neither of my parents went to college, why should I expect to? I never made the decision "yes I think I'll pursue higher education after high school," it just happened that way.

Is it because I'm what some may consider "smart?" Because I'm smart, then I must become smarter? Am I obligated because I have the potential to become smarter? Don't most people though? Besides, I know of smart people who didn't go to college, and unsmart people who did.

I tried to think of one decision or one set of decisions that maybe put me on the path to a collegiate life. I took all honors classes freshman year. No, that wasn't really my choice. When did this all happen then? I was put in the "Gifted & Talented" program back in fourth grade, but that wasn't my choice either. Did I subconsciously decide this by not deciding against it? At any time I could have decided that I didn't want to go to college (though it probably would not be received kindly). When you grow up (ie: graduate high school) and still don't know what you want to be when you grow up, then why not college? Another four (or in my case five) years to try to find a calling.

All I knew was that suddenly it was my junior year of high school, and the only question was where will I go to college, not if. Somehow I ended up on this path, and I had no idea how.

I never did come up with an answer on my own, then last night I was listening to some music, as I often do, and John Lennon was serenading me with Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy). "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." The line stood out as it never had before. Was that the simple answer to my simple question, is it that I was too busy not even considering the prospect of a further education, and suddenly here I was? It seemed too simple, not much different than saying there is no answer, but it worked.

I'm a big believer in free will, but my ultimate conclusion almost contradicts the notion of free will; saying that I ended up in college without ever deciding to be here sounds awfully fateful. To dismiss this idea, and better rationalize my conclusion for myself, I'll say that despite all of this, I am happy being in college, and after all I did choose Northeastern over several other schools. I could have said I didn't want to go to college, but I had no reason not to.

Thanksgiving & New Years for a Writer

2008-02-06T03:15:00.000-04:00

That's the first time, according to my memory, that I've called myself a writer. I'm not sure I feel as if I deserve it, but what is a writer other than one who writes? I write, I enjoy writing, I'm a writer. It feels good.

Certain holidays seem to promote certain values, actions, or ways of thinking. Thanksgiving-well, it's obvious-encourages us to all give thanks and be more appreciative of what we have in our lives. Christmas urges us to give more than we receive. The promise of a new year often makes us look back on the year we've had, and make a list of the things we want to improve for ourselves. The list goes on and on (Lent, giving up indulgences; 4th of July, patriotism), but you get the point, I'm sure.

These days marked off on our collective calendars represent good values and habits that we should exhibit throughout the year (wearing a costume and going door-to-door on a daily basis, however, is not something I'd advocate).

I'd like to first give thanks. Musicians, athletes, actors, and other professions, often make it a point to thank their fans. I have readers that I would like to thank. Even if you don't read this on a regular basis, I appreciate the time you take out of your busy day to ponder my thoughts.

Until recently, I knew of only one person who reads these posts, JoMo. In the past two days, coincidentally, two different people (Dana, Amanda) revealed that they do, on occasion, read what I have to say. I only knew about Joe because he's the only one who comments regularly (or at all, until recently). This brings me to my next point; I oftentimes write these posts hoping to spark a thought in the mind of someone who reads them. If I've caused a spark, I urge you to comment! I don't intend to sound pushy, but it means a lot to me when I hear that someone read and enjoyed what I wrote. I want this Blog to be an open conversation between myself and the reader (at least be appreciative that I'm starting the conversation). It means a lot to me to know that people are reading, and if I cause a particular reaction or thought, I'd like to know what it is. Keep in mind that you can comment anonymously; I want to know what people thought when they read what I wrote, not who thought it (though that's an added bonus, of course). Again, thanks for reading, it means a lot, I only wish I'd known.

Now time for my New ~~Year's~~ Month's Resolution: To continue to write more. I find myself inspired to write a lot, but for some reason discouraged or unwilling to do so. Joe told me I should go for six posts this month, one more than last month. I responded saying that I'm not going to set a quota, and I'm not, but it would be nice to continue to write a nice pace like this.

Bridging these two ideas, I'd like to point out that knowing that people read what I write only encourages me to write more. I think it would be fair to argue that without Joe, there would be very few posts on this Blog. He encouraged me to start up my writing again, and still pushes me to get writing on an almost-daily basis. It's this kind of encouragement that keeps me writing. Thanks Joe for, among countless other things, relentlessly reminding me to keep the pen in my hand.

Well, I have class in 5 hours. Thanks once more the support, and hopefully there will be more to come in the near future.

Hazy Shade of Winter

2008-02-03T12:57:00.000-04:00

Seasonal Affective Disorder is the term used to refer to a mental condition in which sufferers show no signs of depression throughout most of the year, but experience signs of depression in the winter. I used to always think it was just an illusion, that the lack of warmth and color just got to some people. I still don't know if I believe that it's a true illness. Whatever it is, though, I've begun to think I may be affected by it. I've believed for a long time that I have some form of Social Phobia. Of course I'm no psychologist, but I think some of the symptoms fit me will (more so in my past than now, I seem to have grown out of it somewhat).

Anyway, enough with the medical mumbo-jumbo. The technical name for what affects my emotions is not of any great importance. For those of you who have known me for a long time (in other words, the sole known reader of this Blog), you surely know that I am oftentimes antisocial. The cause of this I know not. When I do go out, I tend to have a good time more often than not, and even if it's an uneventful night, it's usually better than sitting home doing nothing. Why then, do I so often choose to not go out?

Since starting college, this anti-social side of me had rarely rared its roiled head. That is, until about two weeks ago. Granted my social life here was never as thriving as many other college students and friends of mine, but that's due almost entirely to personal preference. Getting back to the focus of this post: The past two weeks I've barely left my room (aside from going to classes and meals), and this hasn't been due to a lack of anything to do. I did go to, and enjoy, both Friday night home Northeastern hockey games, but retired to my room for the night shortly after each of them. Tonight I plan on watching the Super Bowl with some people, but that's nearly obligatory and, besides, I enjoy a good football game as much as the next guy.

My first weekend back here was good, I went out, kept myself busy, and had a good time. Something at some time between the first week of school and last weekend pushed me in to an extremely anti-social spell. And no, it wasn't the Packers loss to the Giants.

I simply don't get it. Why the sudden cowering in the shadows? Why do I always choose to spend night after night in such a way that would make many miserable? Why do I choose this, and not mind it? That's what I'd like to know, among many other things, of course. On many levels, I think I understand myself, and my thoughts and actions. On many more levels though, I have no idea what compels me to act in certain ways. If you think you understand yourself, congratulations, but I apologize for you extremely narrow mind.

Some might say we're not supposed to understand our own emotions. I disagree. I don't believe there is anything that we're not supposed to know or understand (I'm not talking about government secrets, here). There are many things yet to be discovered by many men, but nothing is supposed to remain unknown. I strive to know and understand so many obscure things, and yet I don't understand the most obscure dynamic in my life: myself. There are many directions I feel I could go from here, but I'll leave that for another day, and end this right here.

Why do I do what I do? More often than not, the most truthful answer is that I don't know...

267,494

2008-01-28T00:36:00.000-04:00

That's the number of minutes between now and the scheduled start of Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band's show on July 31, 2008. JoMo's got me listening to some live versions of Bruce and The Band. I don't know where this post is going, but I really can't wait. It's not until the end of next summer, which seems so far away, as I'm still waiting for Spring Break. Bruce gives a shout out in a live version of Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out, to his band, calling them, "heart stoppin' earth shakin' earth quakin' heart breakin' air conditioner jammin' lengendary" (credit to JoMo).

I have my ideal, optimistic vision of what I think that night will be like, I don't think The Boss will let me down. I expect Giants' Stadium to be heart stoppin' and earth shakin' that night.

I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away

Long live Rock & Roll.

----------------
Now playing: Bruce Springsteen - The River (Live)
via FoxyTunes

Update (January 29th, 2008)

I'm going to attempt to do the unthinkable. I just told JoMo that Sandy is near the top of my list, as far as Bruce songs go. I'm going to finally (since I've pondered it an innumerable amount of times) rank songs performed by The Boss. I feel like this is the kind of thing you just don't do, but I'm going to do it anyway. First, a couple ground rules. These are rankings based solely on how much I like the song, without any particular guidelines. I will be considering songs as they are performed by Bruce Springsteen or Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band (as some songs are sans band), and no cover versions will be counted, however I will include songs not written by Bruce. Lastly, I will only consider studio versions, unless the only version of the song is live; all songs on the list, therefore, unless otherwise noted, can be assumed to be studio versions. Nomenclature is as follows: "Song - Album (Year of original release)" and all punctuation and capitalization is according Bruce's official site. Here goes nothing...
Jungleland - Born to Run (1975) Truly a masterpiece, a ballad, if you will
Glory Days - Born in the U.S.A. (1984) Makes me miss the 'Nock
Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) - The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle (1973) Bruce wrote this to be a "Live show-stopper..." he didn't want fans to forget this song; I won't
Thunder Road - Born to Run (1975) These first four are probably the least controversial amongst Bruce fans
Born To Run - Born to Run (1975) Bruce's last ditch effort to produce a hit; I'd say it worked
Jersey Girl (Live) - Bruce Springsteen Live 1975-1985 (1986) *Written by Tom Waits; performed live many times by Bruce, Bruce says the character in this song parallels the characters in Rosie and Sandy
Girls In Their Summer Clothes - Magic (2007) The video is great, too
4th Of July, Asbury Park (Sandy) - The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle (1973) If I counted the live version, this would be further up
Mary's Place - The Rising (2002)
Atlantic City - Nebraska (1982) The only song from Nebraska to make it on Bruce's Greatest Hits album, also happens to be the only on this list
Better Days - Lucky Town (1992) Up-tempo song, always gets me in a good mood, but then again so do most of the songs listed here
Born In The U.S.A. - Born in the U.S.A. (1984)
The Rising - The Rising (2002) Unlike the 22nd song on this list, "The Rising" is actually about 9/11, about firefighters climbing the stairs of the WTC, and going all the way up to Heaven
The River - The River (1985)
Dancing In The Dark - Born in the U.S.A. (1984)
You'll Be Comin' Down - Magic (2007)
Badlands - Darkness on the Edge of Town (1978)
Because the Night (Live) - Bruce Springsteen Live 1975-1985 (1986) *Co-written with Patti Smith
Growin' Up - Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J. (1973)
Prove It All Night - Darkness on the Edge of Town (1978)
Waitin' On A Sunny Day - The Rising (2002)
My City Of Ruins - The Rising (2002) Released shortly after 9/11, this song is actually about Asbury Park, not NYC
Hungry Heart - The River (1980)
Streets of Philadelphia - Philadelphia Soundtrack (1993)
Empty Sky - The Rising (2002)
Well that only kept me from writing my English paper (which is now due in about 8.5 hours, mind you) for a few hours. Much harder than it looks, and I still can't say I'm completely satisfied, but there's a nice set of my 25 favorite Bruce songs, in order. Enjoy (266,033 minutes now).

Smile!

2008-01-23T15:53:00.000-04:00

Del comments that the AFC Championship game is meaningless, with respect to the entire world. JoMo, in response, gets existential. Sure the game doesn't matter, but neither do you or I, he'd tell him, in the scope of the history of the world. What difference would it make if I'd never been born? I'd tend to agree with both of them here. Sure, Del, the Packers losing to the Giants in the NFC game isn't the end of the world. JoMo takes it one step further, showing that even the seemingly important things in life aren't truly important. I agree with both pessimistic and cynical arguments. In fact, my Life post alludes slightly to this notion.

I'm not going to turn my back on my initial argument, as I still believe that the small things shouldn't get you down. Theres' no reason to let them, they are insignificant and you'll forget about them a little ways down the road. That being said, embrace the good small things in life. Just as there's no reason to let the bad things hurt you, there's no reason to not let the good things give you joy. Will you forget about those good things in a day or two? Yes, of course, but why not still gain happiness from this moment? I may've been frustrated at the end of the NFC Championship game, but I knew there was no reason to be disappointed over it for too long. Giants fans, though, take joy from the win, bask in the glory (while you still have the chance, since you'll probably be on my side of the fence in about two weeks).
(Update 2/3: I stand corrected, Big Blue won the big one.)

You have trouble sleeping at night, then wake up with barely enough time to get ready, then spill coffee on your shirt, then get stuck in traffic, then hastily lock your keys in your car, before finally getting to work one Monday morning. A string of minor bad things things can lead us to conclude that we're having a "bad day." That may be so. You wake up feeling refreshed, enjoy a nice steaming cup of coffee, hit every traffic light green, and get a good parking spot as you arrive at work 5 minutes early, one Monday morning. Most people would still not qualify this as a "good day." In comparison to a Saturday, it might not be a good day, true. Take joy in the small things and let them cheer you up, for sometimes that's all we have.

Let all those small things put a smile on your face. Be happy when your day is through and you can slowly drift off in a nice warm bed. Be happy when there are short lines at the dining hall. Be happy when your class goes by quickly. Be happy when the cool summer breeze smells just right. Be happy when... be happy when something, anything, gives you the slightest reason to be happy. Dismissing a joyous occasion as irrelevant in the broad view of this earth or your life does no one any good.

Smile, and be happy.

I'll end with a quote:

If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive. - Eleonora Duse

Perfection.

2008-01-22T14:36:00.001-04:00

Perfection - the state of being without flaw or defect. No, this isn't about the 18-0, Super Bowl-bound New England Patriots. Their record is perfect, yes, but this is about real perfection. If you ask a group of people what perfection is, or about the state of being "perfect," you're likely to get many different answers. In more or less words, most people would also probably tell you simply that perfection does not exist. I can recall times when I would fail at something when I was younger (yes, it's happened), and my mom would sometimes tell me, "Well, no one's perfect." It's my opinion that she was not entirely right (not entirely wrong, either, though).

Ask one thousand women to describe their perfect man, and you'll get one thousand different answers. You see, perfection does exist; perfection is in the eye of the beholder. A perfect America for me would not be a perfect America for you. Opinions can be similar, surely, but no two people envision the exact same thing. Ask a panel of ten artists to draw a dog, and you'll get ten very different pictures. Can it be agreed upon that all ten pictures represent a dog? Sure. But are all ten exactly the same? No. In this sense, everything is subjective, as no one sees everything from the same perspective as someone else. This could clearly be applied literally to everything, but for now let's stick to the idea of perfection.

A warm summer night with a steady cool breeze; July 31, 2008, in East Rutherford, NJ. That might be perfect, for me. Perfection does exist. That scene is perfect, for me. Perfection is subjective, though, because it may not be perfect for you. Something that is perfect for a single soul is not perfect for everyone. Perfection is not something that all are supposed to agree upon. Perfection is simply what's right for me, and what's right for you.

The last example may not be the best, though, and now I'll shoot myself down. I'll still hold on to the notion that perfection exists, and that it's highly subjective, but that scene I described is not perfect, to me. Often we find something that, with a little work, a little bending, fits our mold for "perfect." Is that thing truly perfect, then, or are we contorting it in our minds to see it as so? That night I described (aside from the weather) has been more-or-less given to me, and I deemed it to be perfect.. Had you asked me six months ago what my idea of a perfect night was, or the perfect setting for a Bruce concert, that scene is not what I would've detailed for you. We all-too-often view something that is magnificent and decide that it is perfect. That night might be the closest to perfect that I could ever have. Perfect, though, would mean I would not be 200 feet away from the stage in a stadium; perfect might be sitting in the sand of Asbury Park 15 feet from the band, with the stars glistening overhead.

Believe in perfection, for it does exist, but don't force the label on something that isn't perfect.

Writer's Block

2008-01-13T16:25:00.000-04:00

They say that writer's block is the best cure for writer's cramp. What, then, is the best cure for writer's block?

I've never been a particularly creative person, and rely on random inspirations to write. I write about things that I mull over in my head, and I'm not much of a creative writer. I write what I think, I write what I see, and I write what I believe.

Allow me to just let this spill out for a few minutes, get my aggravations off my chest...

Lately I've had trouble finishing what I start. I feel as if I have a good idea, I'll have a solid idea in my head, and can even find the motivation to start writing. When I come to the end of my rope of inspiration, though, I feel as if the piece is incomplete. The original thought is still there, and the inspiration is still present, but I feel like the last stitch required to tie all of my thoughts together is awry.

I currently have four Blog entries that are still in the "draft" phase. Maybe the ideas were never worthy of being written in the first place. Maybe I just haven't finished cultivating the idea in my head. Maybe there's simply nothing else to say. Maybe my standards for my own writing have increased. I don't know what the problem is, but nothing I write is seeming to please me any longer.

It's quite frustrating.

Looking Back: Best Year Ever

2008-01-01T04:08:00.001-04:00

Well, this December thirty-first was very different from the last. A while back there were talks of going in to the city to see the ball drop, but that didn’t happen. A large, glowing ball that takes a mere minute to descend 77 feet, after hundreds of thousands of people wait in the cold for several long hours. Sure it’s purely a symbolic event, with no true significance, but I feel like it’s one of those things that everyone should try to go and see at least once in his/her life. I suppose I’m a sucker for sentimental things like that. I believe, for example, that everyone should see the sun rise on the east coast, and set on the west coast at least once. Instead, though, we stayed in good ol’ Pequannock. The night had true promise, but failed to deliver.

Well this was supposed to be a recap of my projected (to be fair, and clear, this projection was not made by me) best year ever, and I just wrote a lengthy paragraph essentially about one day, the last day. Now I’ll start back at the beginning and try to work through the year with some more concision than previously employed.

January 1^st, 2007. I wrote the Blog entry that seems to necessitate this one, the one that was critically acclaimed (if I may characterize the comments left in such a way) by my peers. It gave me some confidence, something I rarely have much of, in my writing. Unfortunately I haven’t found much inspiration to write since that night, which bothers me to an extent, but that’s not important now.

To cut to the chase, the first half of the year seemed to fly by. Second semester seniors; we were almost there, the air was thick with the angst of graduating and leaving PTHS. AP exams flew by, and before you could say “Great Gatsby,” prom had come and gone. We were quickly approaching the finish line, and there was no turning back. Yearbooks were distributed, signed, and read. The last days of school were soon upon us. With the exception of Volonnino’s research project and some other minor tasks, schoolwork was more or less a thing of the past. The last few days were full of emotion, and promises to keep in touch, some sincere, others not.

June 15^th, 2007. We received nothing. No diploma that day. In a grand ceremony, though, we had graduated, we were high school graduates, we were alumni of PTHS, we were free for the moment, destined for bigger and better things. “Glory days, well they’ll pass you by…in the wink of a young girl’s eye.” It was true. Gotta love The Boss. Next came the summer, the shore, and graduation parties. Next came the goodbyes. From the gazebo to Outback, the emotions were indescribable.

August 29^th, 2007. I remember lying in a bed, unable to sleep. I was thinking. If you know me, then that sounds like most other nights of my life. This was different though; I was in a hotel room in Boston, and I was moving in to my dorm room the very next morning, I was hours away from the college life, but it still hadn’t hit me. I don’t think it ever did hit me, I just was there one day, and on my own, and everything was fine.

October 13^th, 2007. I awoke to a phone call from Mike Del Moro, and a greeting by him, Annie, Steve, and Joe. It was a great surprise. We didn’t actually do much that day, but it was nice to see the faces (and the hair) and hear the voices.

Thanksgiving came and went, and we all looked forward to once again unpausing our Pequannock-lives in December. Sure enough, that time came too. Our first semester of college was done. Some of us changed a lot, some hardly at all, but when reunited, life seemed to resume where we last left off. I met a lot of great people during my first semester, and I hope that trend continues, though I will never be able to forget whence I came.

It was a great year. I'd even go so far as to say it was my best year, ever. I had a blast. A lot of firsts, and a lot of lasts, and a lot more to come...

Memories and friends are both very precious, and neither should ever be forgotten. Thanks for the memories, and I'll never forget this year or the people I've spent it with.

WDYDWYD?

2007-12-24T02:21:00.000-04:00

With JoMo's creation of the "WDYDWYD?" Facebook group, I've had this question on my mind quite often recently (the question, for those unfamiliar, is "why do you do what you do?"). Obviously my posting on the group was meant to be humorous and not too serious. I mean, am I going to Hell? That's up for debate. I'd say no, on the basis that I don't believe in Heaven/Hell, and if they don't exist then I can't go to either of them. On the other hand, if they do exist, regardless of my atheism, I think I'm a pretty decent person and might deserve a seat in the nicer of the two supposed realms.

Moving on, I believe that everyone does things to pursue their own personal ambitions. These ambitions can be small or large, simple or complex, short- or long-term; from not wanting to be late to work to wanting to be happily married someday. One of my beliefs regarding mankind is that everyone does everything in order to benefit themselves in one way or another. Obviously some actions benefit others as well, and perhaps more than they benefit ourselves, but no one does anything that won't benefit themselves.

The argument that could be made is that people who put their lives in danger to save someone else aren't benefiting from that action. I could take the cynical approach and say that the person doing the saving is benefiting with an ego-boosting good reputation and potential short-term positive notoriety. A more acceptable explanation, however, might be that if that person makes no attempt to save the other person's life, then he/she would have to live with the notion of that neglect on his/her conscience. Thus, the resulting benefit of saving the person's life is not having that person's death on your conscience.

Understand, still, that I believe that there can be genuinely good people, and that there are many good people. Just because an action benefits you does not mean you are necessarily a selfish or bad person.

I'm not expecting most people to agree with this cynical philosophy which I've adopted, and I'm not going to say that it's absolutely right, but it's what I believe, so at least consider it and maybe see that it is quite often true. Arguments and attempts to disprove this belief are always welcome.

Building off of that philosophy, though, I also believe that, while not all ambitions are related, most short-term ambitions are shaped by long-term ambitions. In other words, my ambition to make a lot of money helps to shape my ambition to not be late for work. This ambition (to make a lot of money) is more important than others which might shape my short-term ambitions, such as my desire to stay at home and do something more fun than working.

It's this ambition to be successful and rich which ultimately makes me do what I do. I don't go to work or study for exams because it's fun. I'd suppose then, that all of our actions are determined by all of our ambitions, and the importance of each respective ambition.

Agree or disagree, it matters not to me, but hopefully you'll at least take a closer look at the reasons behind your actions. While I believe that everyone does everything to benefit themselves, I don't necessarily think that it's a good thing. Try to do more things that benefit others as well. It's Christmastime, it's a time for giving. At any point of the year, though, try to give to others and help others. Try doing something with someone else in mind, and you'll be surprised at how much it benefits you.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Roots of Life: Lively, Mysterious, and Reliable

2007-12-17T00:33:00.000-04:00

I'm going to preface this with some dangerous words: I don't necessarily expect you to take anything from this entry. I hope that putting that sentence at the beginning of this entry won't cause you to stop reading, though. Usually when I write, I want someone to be inspired or changed or moved by what they read. I typically want you to view things in a different light or perhaps appreciate the simplicity of life a bit more. This entry is different, though, I tried something different. Just my thoughts. I'd characterize it almost as an organized stream of consciousness, if there is such a thing. There's not much to agree or disagree with, just read and hopefully enjoy my pondering on the vastly-present and rarely-considered trees. As per usual, comments and responses are always encouraged!

Ever see a tree? Of course you have; but have you ever truly thought about a tree? Many would say yes, and perhaps some have. Most of us think about trees in general, and believe that they must be saved from extensive logging practices. Some of those people might even be labeled as "tree-huggers." If you think this is going to turn in to another liberal rant promoting a cause I believe in (see Four Years), you're wrong.

On Saturday afternoon, I went with my family to cut down a Christmas tree. As we drove home, the tree atop our car, I thought of how similar a practice it is to hunting for game. I killed a living organism that day, threw it on top of a car, and drove it back to my house solely for a type of ornamental display.

It's only a tree, it's not an innocent animal, it's different. That was my next thought, which most of you probably share. Then I got started thinking about trees, and how magnificent they really are. Most of us take trees for granted. They've always been there, and always will be (for the duration of our lives, at least).

Trees are some of the largest, oldest, most abundant, and most important organisms on earth. There are trees older than the great Egyptian pyramids, and there are trees many times more massive than the largest animals found on earth. Trees provide not only the oxygen which is essential to life on earth, but also shelter and protection for millions of animals, including humans. Trees are some of the most useful living things on this great earth of ours.

Trees do so many great things, and so few evil things. One would then probably argue that they can't be evil, because they don't have souls, brains, or personalities.

I'm not going to try to suggest that a tree has a brain, that's preposterous, but just stay with me here for a little bit. If that's the case, that a tree has no personality or soul, then how are they so diverse? From giant Sequoias to tiny pines to resilient palms. They last through the harshest winters and the most dreadful summers. All are different, from the patterns of their bark, to their leaves, to their lively fruits. Some change as they grow, from vibrantly bright greens to flushing reds and yellows. Some trees seemingly shed as winter approaches, the only organisms to lose their coats for winter.

Trees are mysterious. Think of how such a minuscule seed can grow in to such a gigantic tree, towering over the earth and its creatures. Then think of that sprawling tree that you see - that's only half of the organism. Trees are territorial and dig themselves deep into the soil, planting their foot down hard, vowing not to move. Trees whistle, flow, and rustle in the wind, providing many of the mysterious sounds of the forest.

Trees are reliable. Various animals make their homes in a tree; the tree does not reject the animal, but instead provides great protection. Trees can be counted upon to mark the different seasons of the year. In a photograph you can infer the time of year based on the density and color of the leaves.

Trees are all-seeing. Think of all that goes on in a jungle, forest, or even in a small wooded patch. From the notorious parties held by teenagers, deep in the woods on the outskirts of town, hidden from parents or police. Bodies dumped by murderers, hiding the evidence from the prowling investigators. Rare animals lurking through the jungles, never seen by man. Trees see it all, and keep it all to themselves.

A Perfect Start to Summer

2007-06-20T13:21:00.000-04:00

There are three basic things that I want to make sure I do this summer:

Not sleep in every morning
Read
Spend a lot of time outside, and with family and friends

Yesterday was my first official day of summer, and I'm very pleased to say that I started it off on the right foot. I woke up around 8:30 (I would have been comfortable getting up a little later, but it's okay), and went out to breakfast with Arielle, taking care of two of my goals. The food was great and then we went to Kohl's to pick up my check and then to Best Buy to waste money. Saving money, fortunately, was not one of my goals.

After I got home I was tired, so spent some time relaxing and watching TV. Not my ideal summer afternoon, but hey, I'll take it. Later on, I set up the hammock outside, and went out to lay in it with a pillow and a good book (again, 2 goals). The weather was beautiful, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Dinner came and went, and I helped my dad with some yard work while waiting for Vulcz to come pick me up for ClubDel. What happened between the yard work and arriving at Del's house is irrelevant to this post. The point is that I spent the rest of the night in the company of several of my friends enjoying, as best we could, the cool summer rain. As the party died down, a few of us decided to hit up the Queen (if you're not from Pequannock, that statement might sound a bit strange).

The night ended as any good night should...with an intelligent conversation between JoMo and myself about Heaven and the meaning of life.

I can only hope that every day of the summer is as fulfilling as my first.

Spring Break

2007-04-15T13:58:00.000-04:00

Sunday April 15, 2007, 1:47pm:
I got home last night at like 2:30am, which was way behind schedule. My luggage got lost somewhere in America (of course my family’s things are all okay, but all of my stuff is missing). They made me stand in a line for lost luggage for over an hour, only to tell me that they don’t have it, don’t know where it is, and that I need to call tonight to find out where (if anywhere) it is. It's really weird, because all of our luggage was put on the conveyor belt at the same time, but only mine is missing. Oh well. Luckily I only brought shorts, and it's colder here, so I have pants; and I did bring a lot of nice shirts, but I still have a lot at home, so it's not like I have nothing. Plus all of the stuff that I bought in Mexico is in there too. Not much I can really do about it now though; hopefully it finds its way back to me eventually.

Thursday April 12, 2007, 9:56pm:
Last night I hung out at Senior Frog’s in Playa del Carmen, which can only be described as a crazy bar full of drunk teenagers; I’d never been to anything like it before, but it was pretty cool. I also went to a lot of small shops and just had a good time. It’s crazy the things that they can sell here, out in the open: crack pipes, prescription drugs, etc. I didn’t get back to the hotel until after midnight, and so I slept in today, and then had a big breakfast, followed by a nap on the beach and a lot of swimming. I miss talking to everyone back home, but I really love it here, it’s so detached, relaxing, and calm. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately; what I’m missing back in NJ, who got voted off American Idol, if anyone is going to read this, and if reincarnation exists. Anyway, there’s not much more to be said. I won’t be online at all any more before I get home late Saturday night (unless the Miami airport has free wireless and I have the time between flights). Talk to everyone soon. Buenas Noches.

Wednesday April 11, 2007, 6:24pm:
It’s been a tiring week so far, and I don’t want it to end. I’m writing this as I wait for the rest of my family to get ready for dinner tonight. After dinner we’re going about 20 minutes north to Playa del Carmen where there are a bunch of shops and bars and all that good stuff. I’m hoping we don’t stay out too late; I’m already pretty tired. Today we went snorkeling in the second largest coral reef in the world (behind the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, of course), then rode ATVs through the “jungles” of Mexico, and then rented a small speedboat and rode around in the Caribbean for a little while; it was all a lot of fun. While snorkeling I saw a lot of cool things and took a lot of pictures which will hopefully turn out nice, on the ATV I saw a baby alligator, and on the speedboat I saw a huge sailboat full of nudists. The past few days have all sort of blended together. I’ve done a lot of sleeping and relaxing on the beach, swimming, and eating (all inclusive = awesome). I’ve picked up some Spanish, but that will surely fade from my memory before I get home (although it would definitely help at Kohl’s). On Monday we went to another resort about 45 minutes from here, which we could do for free for one day because they’re affiliated with where we’re staying. Among other things, I saw the largest pool in Cancun as well as a Michael Jackson impersonator (not quite as good as the original though). Last night I slept on the balcony in a hammock, which was surprisingly comfortable and very nice. It’s almost time to go, I’ll write more later.

Sunday April 8, 10:32pm:
They have two computers in the lobby here, and you're supposed to pay $5 for a half hour of internet service (not too bad, really), but I decided to come over here after I got some ice cream, and found that someone left it logged in, with free internet; only downside is that some webpages are coming up completely in Spanish. Anyway, today is gorgeous, 89 degrees, sunny, and not too humid. I slept on the beach for a little while and went swimming as well. There are some pretty cool fish here, and no seagulls, thank God (and while we're on the subject, Happy Easter!). The food is delicious and never ending, as are the drinks and pretty much anything else you want. After my day of stuffing my face and sleeping on the beach, I decided to work out for about an hour...then I went to dinner and ate some (okay, alot) more; the main restaurant had mostly Japanese food tonight (it varies from night to night). Not much to say, this place is huge and very nice. Everything is all open too, and has a very spacious feel to it. As I said in the post from yesterday, the resort is not actually in Cancun, bet very close to it, and not crowded at all. Hope you're all having a nice spring break so far, and to those who don't have it this week, have fun in school tomorrow. I'll talk to you all soon enough.

Saturday April 7, 2007, 10:13pm:
The resort is gorgeous. It’s pretty big but not crowded at all; there are 300 rooms here spread over a spacious resort, and there are currently only 200 people staying here. The food is great, the beach is beautiful, the entire place has just amazed me so far. I’m really tired, and don’t have too much to say. I love it here, though I miss talking to some people. I’ve gotten a lot of really nice pictures already, which I will upload once I get home unless I find an easier way to get on the internet before then. Can’t wait to get up tomorrow and chill on the beach where it will be 90 degrees and sunny and just plain beautiful. Sometime this week I plan on getting up for the sunrise, there’s also scuba-diving and windsurfing, and a bunch of other things to do. I hope everyone is having a nice week so far, and have a happy Easter.

Saturday April 7, 2007, 3:41pm:
I’m writing this in the car going from the airport to the resort…
4 hours and 9 minutes from New York to Cancun. That’s faster than I can drive from New York to Boston. The flight wasn’t that bad, I had my iPod and my laptop, both of which made it through the entire flight without dying on me. I’m proud to say that I got a lot of homework done on the flight, which is good because I probably won’t get any more done the rest of the week. Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man was incredibly boring, not unlike The Dubliners. I downloaded all of the Sparknotes before I left though, so that’s going to help a lot. Until today I’d never been out of the country, Customs are just plain annoying, end of story. Only complaints are of some fellow annoying passengers, as expected. Ever run in to that guy who believes that he can determine an entire flight path in the first 3-5 minutes of the flight? “Oh honey, looks like we’ll be following the coast all the way down.” Right. Oh well. Anyway, enough bitching for one vacation, I’m sure it will only get better. Oh, and it’s funny to see Mexicans with real jobs and that can speak English.

Saturday April 7, 3:57am:
It's 4:00am and I'm leaving for the airport to go to Mexico in just over 3 hours. Despite being pretty busy lately, I can't sleep. I know what you're thinking, it's because I'm so excited...doesn't feel that way to me-trust me, I can't wait to get away, but I'm not overly excited either.
I don't expect to have any cell service or much (if any) access to the internet, but if I do get on at all I'll post updates here so check back to see what's goin' on and leave comments on here if you'd like.
Have a good spring break everyone!

Four Years

2007-03-20T21:16:00.000-04:00

It's been four years since we invaded Iraq, and not much positive has resulted. More Iraqis have died in the past four years than Darfurians, and the lives of over 3,200 brave and honorable Americans have been lost. We followed a deceitful administration in to an unnecessary and un-winnable war. They wrongfully used the fear of 9-11 to pull us all in to a mess with no legitimate cause.

People will accuse me and those like me of not supporting the troops, or being soft on the war on terror. Neither of these are the case. I couldn't support the troops more than I do. I've written to them and donated supplies. 9-11 scared me, it scared me to death. Thinking about it still upsets me greatly, and I would never want anything like that to happen again. The fact of the matter is that I can support the troops and oppose the war. I oppose the leaders of this country who manipulated the American people and lied to the world to draw us in to this war. Sure Saddam Hussein was a tyrant, but that did not warrant our invasion. More Iraqis have died since the invasion than died as a result of any of Hussein's terrible crimes. I'm all for eradication the world of terror, but Iraq is not the place to do it. There are no strong links between the former Iraqi Administration and Al-Qaeda. The truth is that we never should have entered Iraq, and no one responsible is willing to admit that. Cowards, is what they are. Our troops are heroes, true American heroes. A great majority of our leaders though?-cowards.

To those of you who never gave this much thought, or always thought that politics were boring, I urge you to open up your eyes. Even if you find politics to be boring, you should care about the lives of so many people that are being killed unnecessarily.

Pictures

"All we are saying is give peace a chance."

Best Year Ever

2007-01-01T21:08:00.000-04:00

        It's New Year's Day (hardly even the day), and I'm a senior in high school. "The best year ever," my friend had told me just hours before. I sat on my bed reading silently, as the clock hits 4am. I should be sleeping, I think to myself, and my stomach moans in late-night hunger. I glare up at the TV; the volume is turned way down, as the closing credits for CSI flash on the screen.
        I focus back on the book. A man (hardly even a man) loses his soul in Vietnam. He didn't die, exactly, but he lost his soul. His best friend just died, and he blames himself. He "almost" earned the Silver Star; he "almost" saved his best friend; he "almost" had the courage. But he didn't. He was hardly even a man when his best friend died before his eyes, and he blamed himself.
        A million things are running through my head this late at night, far too many to list. It's the beginning of the New Year, "the best ever," the TV is still on, my stomach is still moaning. I think of my good friend, nineteen years old, who's out, drunk, having a great time, and not answering my phone calls.
        I focus back on the book. The man (who was hardly even a man) still blames himself, well after the war is over. His best friend is dead, and he blames himself. Everyone tells him that he is lucky, he survived the war. But he lost his soul in Vietnam. His dad tells him how courageous he must have been, with all of the medals he won (seven in total). All he can think about, though, is the Silver Star that he "almost" won for the best friend that he "almost" saved with the courage that he "almost" had.
        I look back up at the TV, still flashing brightly over the book. It's still the beginning of "the best year ever," my stomach is still moaning, my friend is still drunk, and now a commercial for Girls Gone Wild comes on. My thoughts are all over: What should I eat? Why won't she answer my calls? I think about the man (hardly even a man) on the commercial. His biggest concern seems to be trying to get this drunken woman (hardly even a woman) to take her pants off.
        I look back at the book, where a man (hardly even a man) stands in mud up to his waist, the rain coming down over him. He lost his soul in Vietnam, but he was lucky to survive the war, and he was courageous to win those seven medals. But he lost his best friend, and he blames himself.
        I look back at the clock, 4:02. What a waste of time, I think to myself. Four hours in to the New Year, "the best ever," and I haven't done anything yet. And what does it matter? My TV is still on, and the man (hardly even a man) got the woman (hardly even a woman) to take her pants off. But what does it matter? My friend is out drunk, and not answering me. But what does it matter? I realize at this point that it does not matter. Things such as this don't matter.
        I went back to the book, that's what matters. The man (hardly even a man) lost his best friend, and he blames himself. And eight years later he would hang himself in a locker room at the YMCA. How lucky he was, everyone said, for he had survived the war; and how courageous he was for winning those seven medals. It's true, he survived the war, but he lost his soul in Vietnam. His best friend had died, and he blamed himself. He "almost" had the courage to "almost" save his best friend and "almost" win himself a Silver Star. But he didn't. He lost his soul in Vietnam, and hanged himself eight years later.
        A few months prior to this, perhaps, the New Year came, and his friend told him that it would be the best year ever. But that was before he got drafted, that was before anything mattered. Now everything mattered; he stood in the mud up to his waist. His best friend had died and he blamed himself.
        So many thoughts running through my head as I look back up at the TV. So many things going on in my life, but what does it matter? It doesn't. Nothing matters. The New Year has begun, the TV is still on, my friend still hasn't answered, and the girl's pants are off – but does it really matter? He had survived the war and earned seven medals. But does it really matter?
        His best friend had died, and he blamed himself. He lost his soul in Vietnam. He "almost" earned himself an eighth medal; he "almost" saved his best friend, because he "almost" had the courage. But he didn't. He was hardly even a man. And he hanged himself eight years later. That's all that matters.

Life

2006-11-18T14:21:00.000-04:00

First of all, I feel this blog needs a bit of an introduction... I could have just as easily written an angry blog, spilling out all of my frustrations with people and society, but what good would that have done? No one would care to read it, and most would probably disagree with what I had to say anyway. Instead, I'll reflect on what I've learned today. I had what seemed like a terrible morning, and then spent a good hour thinking, and this is what I've come up with. Hopefully some of this can help you too:

I was having a bad day today, for reasons I don't feel like listing here, so I open up iTunes as I always do when I need a quick pick-me-up. I was feeling as if nothing was going right for me today when, by chance, this song started playing:

Turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin' don't blame me
They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else
Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma's too thin, your daddy's too fat
Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fight
Get over it, get over it

- Get Over It The Eagles

It makes me realize what a great life I really have. Sure some people suck and piss me off and do terrible things, seemingly to only piss me off, but I have a lot to be grateful for. I get lonely sometimes or depressed or stressed, and start to feel sorry for myself. The truth is that it doesn't help anything.
Sometimes we all just need to put things in perspective. I know I'm not the only person who feels this way from time to time, but it doesn't make me feel any better about it. I feel guilty for feeling bad for myself, when I have so much to live for. I hate to get too sentimental, but there are some people in this world with nothing, and even more people with less than me. I live in a wealthy suburban New Jersey town. I have a loving family and great friends. While I get upset and aggrevated sometimes, my life for the most part is pretty damn good.

"Few players recall big pots they have won, strange as it seems, but every player can remember with remarkable accuracy the outstanding tough beats of his career"

- Rounders, 1998

I know this quote is in reference to the game of poker, but sometimes that's how life is. Sometimes only the really bad things stand out in life, while the good is suppressed. Today I realized how pointless some things are in the grand scheme of life. From now on I'm going to try my hardest to let those happier times shine through and instead suppress the bad.
I've learned to be more reserved. I've learned not to try to be everyone's friend. I've learned not to trust everyone. I've also learned, however, that it's important to be able to trust some people and to not just give up. After all (another Rounders quote), "You can't lose what you don't put in the middle. But you can't win much either." You've either got to put it all out there or keep everything to yourself, but whatever you do, make the decision carefully.

I've always been the kind of person who enjoys a good quote. As Derek in American History X says, "someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong." Thank you for reading this, it was as much for me to express myself as it was for anyone else to read and enjoy. Going along with this, I'll end my blog with another great quote:

"So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it."

- American History X, 1998

Gay Rights

2005-12-02T14:28:00.000-04:00

This is a letter which I wrote to the members of my church in December of 2005. While the real meaning behind the letter is not relevant, I wanted to share my pro-gay rights argument. There was a debate in the church over whether or not Robert Williams should be hired as a new pastor to the church. Some people opposed his hiring because his son was gay, and because he supported equal-rights for gays. There was to be a congregational meeting, but I had to miss it to go to the University of Delaware. The following is my letter in response to those people, and I have not changed anything from the original. For anyone wondering, the congregation ultimately decided to hire him, however during some process which I’ll never understand, he was deemed not worthy of the position and was in fact never hired. The church has since hired another qualified pastor to fill the position and, with the exception of a few members who left after this ordeal, the church is in a peaceful and happy condition.

To Whom It May Concern:

Unfortunately I will be unable to attend the church service on December 4^th, however I feel very strongly about the criteria of the congregational meeting following that service. As a confirmed member of the church I am disappointed that I cannot voice my opinion this weekend and vote in favor of the candidacy of Robert Williams. I will instead be visiting the University of Delaware, as I prepare to move forward to the next step in my life, much like this church is currently doing. I understand the importance of such a decision and the longevity of its effects.

I firmly believe that Dr. Robert Williams is a highly qualified candidate for this church. As all of you know, he has a lot of experience behind the pulpit, and has been supported by large congregations. Those who oppose Dr. Williams state that “the Pastor Search Committee and Dr. Williams have persisted in promoting his candidacy despite the fact that they are very aware of the unrest and conflict…” It is evident that there are also several outstanding qualities of Dr. Williams that has caused this search committee to ultimately give him an opportunity at our church. He is an appealing pastor whose sermons are relevant to vast groups of people within this church. Many people were upset when Pastor Rienstra retired and (among other reasons) missed his upbeat, sometimes comical sermons. Those who oppose the candidacy of Dr. Williams claim that the church would suffer because some of the current members would leave. While I have heard such rumors, and realize that many of these families and individuals are very important people in this church, I have to think that many members of the church who stopped coming when Pastor Rienstra left will return to church. With the more entertaining and lively style of Dr. Williams, some of our dormant members should return to the church service, once word spreads.

“Times change, but people stay the same.” This quote has been used time and time again in countless situations in this world, and it applies here. Times in America (and the world) have changed; politically, socially, religiously, and in every other way. While I’m not looking to make any personal attacks, I would claim that many of those who oppose Dr. Williams are quite stubborn. While I realize that a church is a very conservative place, you must also realize that change is inevitable. Personally, I have nothing against homosexual unions, in or outside of the church; I also have other political/social viewpoints that many in this church might not agree with, and that is fine. This is America, where you have the freedom of choice. Within this church, we all have the right to our own opinions. Is it not foolish to disregard this otherwise perfect candidate just because a few members of our congregation have different opinions on certain matters than he does? No one says everyone’s own opinions have to change. Also, at the Marble Collegiate Church, part of Dr. Williams’s job was to run gay and lesbian worship service, he did not start this up on his own; therefore it is foolish to think that with his arrival our church will have many new gay members or that he will start a gay/lesbian focus group. There was once a time when many believed that women should not take an active role in a church, now we see no problem with this. The change is inevitable; the church must change with the world that surrounds it.

Many argue that the Bible is “clearly” against homosexual relationships. This “clear” explanation depends on what translation you use. The Bible was not originally in English, and so there are varying translations when it comes to reading a modern English Bible. Some quick research on the internet will show you some other examples of variances in different versions of the Bible. What a conservative translator may read as the condemnation of homosexuality, a liberal translator may read as the condemnation of homosexual rape or prostitution. Clearly, there is a difference; if the latter translation is taken as being true, you can argue that all rape and prostitution is condemned, regardless. Even if the conservative translation is used, I then suppose that the mere advocating of homosexuality is a sin; and I can then take the liberty of assuming that all of those opposing Dr. Williams have never committed, nor befriended someone who committed a sin. No, that would be just wrong. I really do not believe, however, that homosexual relationships and the church should even be a problem with this hiring, so I do not wish to spend much time covering the insignificant and controversial topic. Dr. Williams should be hired on the simple basis that he will be an excellent minister for our congregation, and that he will serve this church well for years to come.

As I’m sure you all realize, just like deciding where you are going to go to college, this is a very important decision for this church’s future. I ask that at the very least you give some appreciation towards my argument, and give this decision a lot of time and thought. I urge everyone to fully consider the benefits of having Dr. Williams join this church. Do not act stubbornly, but instead realize that perhaps some of his qualities don’t seem so bad in light of the changing world and the progress that this church is trying to make for the future. He has different opinions than some of us, and that is fine, we are a single church, and must stick together even in times of disagreement. Look to the future and make the decision that you know is right, it is for the betterment of this church and congregation.

Thank you for your time, and I hope that you have strongly considered what I had to say.

Sincerely,

Matthew Ritter

Welcome...

2005-11-17T21:35:00.000-04:00

I'll use this post as a little bit of an introduction. I know that no one wants to read a blog about the goings-on of my every day life, so don't worry, I won't bother you with such frivolous matters. I'm going to use this blog as a place to express my feelings when I get that sudden and random urge to write. While many times writing is my way to let out built-up anger or overwhelming emotion, I'd like to think that I can also provide new viewpoints for people to consider. I want to spark some kind of positive reaction in the minds of the people who read this. Both positive and negative comments are appreciated. Thanks for your time, and I hope you enjoy...