I was sitting in my College Writing class yesterday, as my racing mind ran laps around my idle body. One thought stood out: What am I doing here? It seemed like an easy question, with an easy answer. I was in that classroom because I am a student at Northeastern University. Every easy answer draws another more complex question, though. Why am I at Northeastern? Hell, why am I even at college at all?
I suppose it was expected of me to go to college after high school, but why? Neither of my parents went to college, why should I expect to? I never made the decision "yes I think I'll pursue higher education after high school," it just happened that way.
Is it because I'm what some may consider "smart?" Because I'm smart, then I must become smarter? Am I obligated because I have the potential to become smarter? Don't most people though? Besides, I know of smart people who didn't go to college, and unsmart people who did.
I tried to think of one decision or one set of decisions that maybe put me on the path to a collegiate life. I took all honors classes freshman year. No, that wasn't really my choice. When did this all happen then? I was put in the "Gifted & Talented" program back in fourth grade, but that wasn't my choice either. Did I subconsciously decide this by not deciding against it? At any time I could have decided that I didn't want to go to college (though it probably would not be received kindly). When you grow up (ie: graduate high school) and still don't know what you want to be when you grow up, then why not college? Another four (or in my case five) years to try to find a calling.
All I knew was that suddenly it was my junior year of high school, and the only question was where will I go to college, not if. Somehow I ended up on this path, and I had no idea how.
I never did come up with an answer on my own, then last night I was listening to some music, as I often do, and John Lennon was serenading me with Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy). "Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans." The line stood out as it never had before. Was that the simple answer to my simple question, is it that I was too busy not even considering the prospect of a further education, and suddenly here I was? It seemed too simple, not much different than saying there is no answer, but it worked.
I'm a big believer in free will, but my ultimate conclusion almost contradicts the notion of free will; saying that I ended up in college without ever deciding to be here sounds awfully fateful. To dismiss this idea, and better rationalize my conclusion for myself, I'll say that despite all of this, I am happy being in college, and after all I did choose Northeastern over several other schools. I could have said I didn't want to go to college, but I had no reason not to.
About Me
- Matt
- I'm nineteen years old, and a freshman business student at Northeastern University. I don't yet know what I want in life, or what my future might bring me. That's both reassuring and alarming. I love spending time with family and friends, and enjoy feeling like I'm making a difference to someone.
4 comments:
College is definitly one of those things that never seems like a option. People just assume you are going to go to college and such, and if you are considered "smart" you are expected to go somewhere better than other people. But what makes one school better than any other? I am a firm believer that you make the school what it is. If you decide to go to school and not do any work, you are going to fail whether you went to Harvard or your local college. The same goes for if you want to do well, it all depends on you.
I've never really thought of college being an option myself, it was kind of an unsaid thing, after high school you go to college. But that leads to another question. How when you are 18 years old you are supposed to figure out what you are going to do with the rest of your life. How does anyone know what they want to do? I guess the idea is just to pick something that kind of makes you happy and go to college where you want to go. Because I think that college is not about becoming the person you are in the future, but more of figuring out who you are. Being on your own in a strange place makes people think of what is important in their life...because college is so much more than studying...
I should, and definitely will, begin by saying that I really enjoyed and appreciated the first line of the blog. But I'm sure you knew I'd like it. However, and I'll be harsh here, I think it could've been better.
Now, I will tell you why you are in college right now. I hope you're ready. You are in college because you owe it to yourself to become a more valuable human being. With this value comes a better sense of, not only self, intellect, and logic, not to mention salary.
Further, it is a waste of a human being, the only species that can think and really process information of the past for the future, to not enhance this precious ability.
Personally, I think you're being rather selfish.
First to Kristen: I tend to disagree with your first paragraph. You're telling me that if I went to the Wharton School of Business (U of Penn, considered the best in the nation), and simply put forth effort, then I'd do well? I might pass, sure, but that's different. The second part of your comment has been said many times before, and I don't disagree; like I said, another 4 years to decide, or not decide.
To Joe: I was hoping you would like the first sentence, I rather liked it. Everything can be better though, in truth. I like your answer, and it's not wrong, but you can be a valuable person without a college degree. I suppose I owe it to myself. I don't understand what you're getting at saying that I'm selfish...
Thanks to you both though.
You're being selfish because there are people, those less fortunate than us, that don't have access to such an opportunity.
Drink your beer, there are sober kids in India.
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